Where to from here?

Suffice to say that the stuff of life has been somewhat of a challenge of late but a slight shift has occurred; a calmness, a stillness, a simple appreciation of the beautiful things around me has taken some form of residence. I am starting to emerge from that very dark tunnel,a little dazed, as if I were seeing things for the first time but in equal measure sighing with relief and physically sensing a weight being lifted. In my overly analytical mind, I have questioned why and how and wondered if my emotional ally in the form of Rescue Remedy, wholly endorsed by alternative thinkers, has played its part or whether it is simply a state of mind, as some people believe. Perhaps, endless conversations with friends has contributed or maybe time, the greatest healer of all, has done its rightful work..I would like to think they all have a say in this journey of mine and throw in a large measure of acceptance. Acceptance - now there you have a state of mind. It seems so obvious, doesn't it but for some unknown reason, acceptance only dawned on me not too long ago after many months of feeling so very sad and withdrawn, disorientated and disconnected. Why, you may ask as I asked many a time. Well, it is no secret that I made this gargantuan decision to move to Australia with my family. I don't work anymore, or at least, not in the traditional and more accepted sense. I am a stay-at-home mum with 2 small children - a personal choice after much thought and discussion and I wholeheartedly maintain it is still the right choice for me but even with this knowledge, can you believe that I have struggled? Leaving my old life behind has been harder than I anticipated. My career defined me in no uncertain terms, my environment helped shape me, old friends know me inside out, I basked in a life of stability and comfort and familiarity..Is it any wonder I have had a melt-down then? Is this what they call a mid-life crisis? I always assumed the term mid-life crisis applied solely to the other gender but alas..no..it appears that we lovely women can easily fit the bill. So ,where to now? A month ago, the very question would have sent me into a panic-stricken space but today, it does not feel so urgent or necessary to come up with the answer. I am comfortable to sit and ponder and toy with different ideas and play them out in my mind. I feel excited at the prospect of new ventures. How fortunate am I? I can also just be..That in itself is a freedom I have too often taken for granted. Accepting that I don't always have the answers is a good space to inhabit. I think I may sit here for a while.