Yes, I do actually believe in the Public Education system

A never-ending hot topic or so it seems. In Education for years, I never fully stopped to consider what my personal views were. Always on the front-line in Inner London Schools, toiling away to cover the Curriculum and touch students on some level and always held accountable. Of course, there were better days than others and some days I walked away feeling very dispirited and exasperated. But the long and short of it is that I worked with colleagues who strived to collectively make a difference.

My decision to step out of the classroom environment ( temporarily ) coincided with starting a family and moving here to Australia. But never more since leaving the UK and residing in Australia have I had countless conversations over Public vs Private Education. No-one actually comes out and says what they really think about the Public system but the underlying current that resonates with me is their fear of it, perhaps a lack of trust in it. Is it really that bad? I can not imagine that this would be the case in such a country. I have heard mention of the whole networking element in defense of the Private system. But, in defense of a Public School Education, I say that people from all over the world network in some form or other and they do not necessarily have to have had a Private Education. I listen attentively but at no point do I ever hear people mention the Teaching and Learning. In fact, when I put the question to them, they look at me quite bewildered. I have had the occasional - I imagine it would be good. Of course, I say. It is fee-paying so it is bound to be.

I can not say for sure how it works as I am currently out of the loop but from my personal experience as a teacher, there are good and and not so good schools in both sectors as both are comprised of good and not so good teachers. That is just the nature of the beast, like in any other work environment. Money does not and can not exclude that. Some might even argue that it shouldn't as children need to be placed in not-so-perfect situations for obvious reasons.

It is perfectly acceptable for parents to choose a Private School Education. It is and should be an alternative to the Public system. But at no point should it be better because it is fee-paying. A Public School Education should be its clear competitor. After all, don't all teachers join the profession because they want to make a difference? Private or Public, it is about teaching and learning, surely.

These are my ideals. Some may argue the point. I would love to know what people really think about the Public System here in Melbourne as I have but met a handful ( literally ) of people who are not scared to openly state their opinion and claim that the Australian Public System is worth fighting for and believing in and that sending their children there is not a gamble.

True friends forever....

Is there anyone out there today who can relate to some of what I am about to transcribe? I said goodbye to one of my closest and dearest today along with her all encompassing beautiful family. They leave Melbourne tomorrow morning for the US. A new chapter, a fresh start for them all and how terribly exciting and scary all in one breath. I admire her courage and sense of persistence and her never-ending enthusiasm and positivity. Whatever challenge life presents her, she embraces it with an open mind and heart. I can do very little else but admire her. But for me, a sense of emptiness, a foreboding of venturing ahead without my friend. She has been my anchor, my confidante, my inspirer, my regular injection of humour and creativity and candidness and sincerity...I feel so terribly sad..No matter what anyone may say to me, Melbourne will never be the same for me, not without you, my dear dear friend. I already miss you..x

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Alas, my trip to Europe is slowly but surely drawing to an end after much preparation and soul-searching and wondering how I might feel after being reunited with family and friends, wondering whether I would feel regret over our decision to move to the other side of the world. Instead and with much relief, I might stress, I have come to realise that Australia is home to hubby, kids and I. There has been some analysis but mostly just an appreciation of the way life pans out. Nothing or nobody has directly influenced the way I feel. Often, we make decisions and can´t quite understand why there is a pull in that direction but everything seems a little clearer for me today. That isn´t to say that I won´t experience doubt again but at least, I know that the decision was the right one. I am excited about returning to Melbourne and seeing where this new road will take me. I am deeply and hungrily excited. Perhaps, I may actually stop procrastinating and become productive. Thank you Diary for the space to thrash out this big mass of uncertainty that has become a regular visitor.

Adieu Old Life of Mine, that of London and its familiar haunts, perhaps even adieu to many a familiar face and voice. Strangely, I am not at all sad. The old Me would have bemoaned the loss and tried desperately to figure it out, fix it. I feel at last free from the chains of my former existence. I am happy to acknowledge this new-found state of mind and happily await my return to Australia. But first, a small trip to the homeland - Portugal. Tomorrow is the day.

Thank You Bikram ...

Mindful, purposeful, energising, smile-inducing, a true challenge on a physical level and a spiritual awakening, if you so permit - these are but some of the ways to describe the very beautiful practice of Bikram Yoga. This form of Yoga, if unbeknownst to yourself, comes to life in a heated room of 39 degrees where two very different breathing exercises begin and end the Bikram experience. The remainder of this delightful 90 minute 'hot room' space is comprised of 26 postures, all of which are repeated twice. There is no other way to describe my love for Bikram other than to say - I LOVE BIKRAM. In my lifetime, I have delved into a cornucopia of physical activity, ranging from Samba to regular trips to the gym but nothing has ever captured the true essence that is me until Bikram came into my life. To be fair, Samba is a close second. I mean, what is there not to love about Brazilian music and dance? Samba is hip-swivelling sexy and transports you to the warm and inviting land of Brazil where beauty surrounds you in many forms. But Bikram is an altogether different journey - a journey of introspection and truth, discipline and accomplishment, patience and acceptance among many other things. Why should I be talking about Bikram today? Well, I leave for the UK and Portugal very shortly for my first holiday trip back to Europe and as I am finishing off those last minute packing details, I remember to search on-line for Bikram Yoga centres close to where we will be staying and am delighted to discover that I will be able to partake in and share this unique and humbling experience. And upon this discovery, I felt compelled to share this with you, my diary. Yes, I love Bikram.

Where to from here?

Suffice to say that the stuff of life has been somewhat of a challenge of late but a slight shift has occurred; a calmness, a stillness, a simple appreciation of the beautiful things around me has taken some form of residence. I am starting to emerge from that very dark tunnel,a little dazed, as if I were seeing things for the first time but in equal measure sighing with relief and physically sensing a weight being lifted. In my overly analytical mind, I have questioned why and how and wondered if my emotional ally in the form of Rescue Remedy, wholly endorsed by alternative thinkers, has played its part or whether it is simply a state of mind, as some people believe. Perhaps, endless conversations with friends has contributed or maybe time, the greatest healer of all, has done its rightful work..I would like to think they all have a say in this journey of mine and throw in a large measure of acceptance. Acceptance - now there you have a state of mind. It seems so obvious, doesn't it but for some unknown reason, acceptance only dawned on me not too long ago after many months of feeling so very sad and withdrawn, disorientated and disconnected. Why, you may ask as I asked many a time. Well, it is no secret that I made this gargantuan decision to move to Australia with my family. I don't work anymore, or at least, not in the traditional and more accepted sense. I am a stay-at-home mum with 2 small children - a personal choice after much thought and discussion and I wholeheartedly maintain it is still the right choice for me but even with this knowledge, can you believe that I have struggled? Leaving my old life behind has been harder than I anticipated. My career defined me in no uncertain terms, my environment helped shape me, old friends know me inside out, I basked in a life of stability and comfort and familiarity..Is it any wonder I have had a melt-down then? Is this what they call a mid-life crisis? I always assumed the term mid-life crisis applied solely to the other gender but alas..no..it appears that we lovely women can easily fit the bill. So ,where to now? A month ago, the very question would have sent me into a panic-stricken space but today, it does not feel so urgent or necessary to come up with the answer. I am comfortable to sit and ponder and toy with different ideas and play them out in my mind. I feel excited at the prospect of new ventures. How fortunate am I? I can also just be..That in itself is a freedom I have too often taken for granted. Accepting that I don't always have the answers is a good space to inhabit. I think I may sit here for a while.

Books..........

Reading and more reading - that is where I am at after a pretty long day tending to the daily demands of everyday living..Can you ever read enough? I read so much during my University days and then very sadly, left all that behind and found it replaced by work, or rather a career. We won't bother focussing on that but needless to say, I am back where I was in my mid 20's!!!! Yah for me and all those who can relate...So, something very light-hearted but with intrinsic messages hidden between the lines..The Idle Parent by Tom Hodgkinson. I have laughed so much..Thank you Tom!!!! A parenting book, if I dare call it that. A rejection of so many imposed ideas and it is simply refreshing. Ok, so some of it, in my opinion, is tongue-in-cheek and maybe some ideas are just not very feasible with our particular characters, well at least mine.. But I just love the way he so flippantly casts so many things to one side and thus relieving the pressure off without all that ridiculously self-inflicted guilt!!!!!!!!!!! Read it..I don't think like-minded people will disagree with much of what Tom Hodgkinson has to say..And for the ever-curious..read it anyway..Another book to your repertoire..